so explain again why im purple
no
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
