I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
