Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Intervention is following me on twitter.

(440): View more from Ohio

wow.

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(217): View more from Illinois

It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.

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(631): View more from New York

I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?

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(585): View more from New York

So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?

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(716): View more from New York

Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?

(585): View more from New York

Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.

(716): View more from New York

.......

(585): View more from New York

I'm just looking out for you.

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(773): View more from Illinois

And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive

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(727): View more from Florida

Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.

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