I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
