This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
