dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
