dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
