your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He shit in the fireplace
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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