ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
