I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
