She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize