when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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