Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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