Me too!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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