remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
