Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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