If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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