i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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