Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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