I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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