Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
