then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
