I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
