This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
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