i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
