I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
