I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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