I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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