She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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