We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize