It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
