I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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