i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize