can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
