What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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