KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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