why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
