Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
