I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
