In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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