you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
