Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
