You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize