that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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