I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
