he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize