I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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