At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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