yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
no you cant smoke seaweed
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize