Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Randomize
