My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He kissed a someone with a penis
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize