Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
