Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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