Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize