That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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