and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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