Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
