Where are you?
In a non slutty way
do herpes really smell.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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