shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We got so high we made milksteak
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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