i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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