he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
