Betty ford says i'm here all night
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
