I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The struggles of a small town man whore
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
